There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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