Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
