I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize