another moral hangover. fuck.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
