Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
