I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
