did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
