I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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