Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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