Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Pants 0. Shit 1.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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