i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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