I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
You can't special order awesome
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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