No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
