Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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