THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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