well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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