I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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