I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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