Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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