so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
