ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
