Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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