Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
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It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
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I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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