Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
