What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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