Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
