I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
