i just had sex bonerless
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
