Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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