you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
