my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
