I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize