Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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