try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
