My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
being pregnant is like rehab
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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