I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I faked an abortion last night.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
