R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
