I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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