i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize