ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
