So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize