Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
