why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
