I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
