Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
