im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
