where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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