Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

i barfeds in our rink

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(207): View more from Maine

And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.

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(217): View more from Illinois

i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here

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(773): View more from Illinois

I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(219): View more from Indiana

Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.

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(727): View more from Florida

well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.

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(937): View more from Ohio

The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.

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(416): View more from Toronto

you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.

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