can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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