Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  I need hand sanitizer and jesus.

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  (714): I need hand sanitizer and jesus. http://tfl.nu/r3xx
  Replies (15) Good night (1954) Bad night (2589)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.

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  (740): ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days. http://tfl.nu/z4ue
  Replies (56) Good night (5653) Bad night (1064)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.

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  (602): Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue. http://tfl.nu/w4nd
  Replies (12) Good night (5823) Bad night (945)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.

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  (574): there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk. http://tfl.nu/a189
  Replies (8) Good night (4389) Bad night (833)
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  (661): View more from California

  It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.

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  (661): It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job. http://tfl.nu/htiz
  Replies (32) Good night (5251) Bad night (1325)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future

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  (330): He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future http://tfl.nu/ji9u
  Replies (8) Good night (812) Bad night (3634)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.

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  (404): FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall. http://tfl.nu/m2zy
  Replies (7) Good night (3208) Bad night (753)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.

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  (601): I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine. http://tfl.nu/oz16
  Replies (1) Good night (1660) Bad night (858)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.

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  (336): But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob. http://tfl.nu/czfm
  Replies (10) Good night (2039) Bad night (648)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.

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  (843): You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in. http://tfl.nu/9ftp
  Replies (8) Good night (1651) Bad night (467)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I have a surprise for you

  (1-254): View more from Texas

  Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!

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  (254): I have a surprise for you (1-254): Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy! http://tfl.nu/af5l
  Replies (5) Good night (2401) Bad night (540)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.

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  (+61): Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness. http://tfl.nu/4vgt
  Replies (1) Good night (860) Bad night (513)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.

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  (305): No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen. http://tfl.nu/b2oj
  Replies (5) Good night (705) Bad night (245)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?

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  (708): was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time? http://tfl.nu/ea5t
  Replies (5) Good night (800) Bad night (246)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Typical.

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  (314): I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus. (636): Typical. http://tfl.nu/yc0f
  Replies (6) Good night (572) Bad night (266)

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