He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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