Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die