yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
