She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
