There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
After tacos, we're chasing women.