That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
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sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
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we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son