So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.