my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion