Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
