i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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