At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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