Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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