What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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