you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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