I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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